What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Why do a lot of women have a crush on my boyfriend when they know he is in a relationship with me? I am starting to feel insecure too. What should I do?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Why do our deceased do not protect us from other bad spirits?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Why are Trump supporters so incredibly stupid?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Are rich people harder workers than poor people as a whole?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Why do narcissists want to hurt your feelings, even after they discard you?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

TEXT:

Make Nazis afraid again!

Why did my crush like me for only two days in a row?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

What is your interpretation of the movie Rocky? What makes it a good film in your opinion?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Why has no country adopted the SA80/L85 rifle?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What’s the craziest thing you’ve heard pretending to be asleep?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …